Getting the Girls

An interesting phenomenon happens when you move a girl around. This is also known as bouncing or isolation (a large topic in its self). It seems to trigger lots of different emotions, displays a number of your traits and creates a new connection between you and a girl. You might be thinking that’s stupid… but really it’s not read on and I’ll tell you why.

Different kinds of ‘moves’ will trigger different reactions, basically the bigger the move, the more positive the outcome. So first, let’s look at some examples of how you can move a girl:

• You take her hand and twirl her
• While talking to her, you step her a few steps away from her friends
• You bring her with you to the bar (don’t buy her a drink!)
• You take her to the dance floor
• You take her to check out a new area of the venue you haven’t seen yet
• You take her to a quite chair or area to talk
• You take her to a quite area to make out
• You take her to the bathroom to get it on
• You take her to a new venue such as a new bar, club or restaurant to eat
• You take her to your car
• You take her home

You get the idea.

Basically there are different levels of movement that can happen; each level will move you further down the line to achieving your goal. But moving her around is a key part of the interaction.

Moving her is important for the following reasons:

You Get Physical Contact with Her

It is important to get her comfortable with you touching her. If you are ever going to get into a sexual relationship with a girl, you need to touch her. The sooner she is comfortable with your touch, the sooner you can take things sexual.

You Display a Leader Trait

In the how to get girls interested article, I talked about attractive traits. Being a leader is one of them. If you move a girl about, you are leading her around, displaying this trait. Making yourself more attractive.

You Seem Interesting and Exciting

It should be obvious how this is a good thing…

You Gain Privacy

Getting some privacy is a great thing. This is also known as isolation. If you are alone with a girl, she will not be distracted by her friends, judging her actions or interrupting your conversation. You will also not be distracted by your friends and it give you an opportunity to get more intimate.

You Create your Own Bubble

An interesting thing happens, especially if you change venues. If you meet a girl in a bar, and you are talking, getting along with her, then you change venues. Suddenly, you are not two groups that came met in a bar, now you came together to this venue. This will mean she (and her friends) will be much more likely to stick around with you in the new venue. You have created a new group and experience.

Moving the girls helps in so many ways you’d be a fool not to do it. And it obviously leads to the end result of getting her back to your place. So it’s basically necessary you do this when meeting new girls.

After you start a conversation, you will need to change topics. You will also need to change topics through a conversation if it’s getting stale or boring. Sometimes it can be difficult to do this if you don’t know what to speak about. Here are a few different ways to change the topic.

Make an Assumption

Making assumptions are a really good way to change the conversation. Here are some examples:

- You’re the good one and you’re the bad one (talking to two girls)

- Are you guys English? (Californian etc)

- I can tell you’re a bad drunk

- You beat your boyfriend don’t you

- You went to a private school didn’t you?

Just guess something about them. It can be normal or ridiculous. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong. Here’s an example of a question going both ways:

Example 1

Guy: You girls from Sweden?

Girls: No! Were from Norway!

Guy: OMG I’m sorry, was that like totally insulting? (smiling)

Girls: Yes, it was actually (smiling back)

Guy: Good, caus Sweden is way cooler than Norway!

Girls: No its not!

Guy: As if, what does Norway have?

Example 2

Guy: You girls from Sweden?

Girls: Yes! How did you know?

Guy: I have super natural powers…

Girls: Whatever…

Guy: No seriously, its written on the tag sticking out the back of your shirt…

Girl: (trys to look at tag) No its not!

Guy: Haha, made you look. Nah I had an ex who was Swedish. You girls holidaying?

Love Systems Calls these Cold Reads – Magic Bullets the complete guide on getting the girl of your dreams breaks them down in detail.

Make an Observation

Making an observation is an easy way to change the conversation. If you meet a girl in a grocery store, noticing something in their trolley and making a joke about it is easy. There is a couple of great routines in the Routines Manual. One is called the Finger Length Routine – which has to do with noticing the different lengths of their fingers and another called the Ring routine which notices which finger they have rings on.

Try and not say normal or boring things like “that’s a nice dress” or “that necklace is really pretty” – that’s just lame. If you have something to say about what you are noticing, say it. Not just say nice and pretty. Example, if you notice she is wearing an African necklace because you have been to Africa and seen similar necklaces say “cool necklace, that’s from Africa right?” she will say “yeh” continue with “I was in Africa a few years ago, I went to xyz”. Conversation changed.

Ask a question with a predictable response, then have a story to back it.

This is starting to get into the world of scripted routines but here’s an example:

Guy: What’s your favourite TV program?

Girl: Greys Anatomy

Guy: Greys Anatomy! That’s lame. Mine is Survivor. Survivor is awesome… OMG funniest story, I was in the shopping mall the other day, and I saw that guy XXX from Survivor XXX. He was there with a few mates, and they were messing around. I think they were drinking or something,  but one of his friends, decked him (pulled down his pants) in the middle of the mall! Like 20 people saw his pee pee! It was funny as! Not the biggest either… Survivor is way cool. How could you like Grey’s Anatomy over Survivor… minus 5 points for you.

Girl: Haha, no way Greys Anatomy is cool because of xyz…

Guy: Lets not talk about Greys Anatomy any more, maybe we can find something we can both agree on tho. What else do you watch?

Here you know she will more than likely tell you her TV show if you are already in a question. It is fairly unassuming. But if the conversation just went like this:

Guy: What’s your favourite TV show?

Girl: Greys Anatomy

Guy: Cool… I like Survivor.

Girl: Yeh survivor is cool/alright/shit

It will die quickly.

Having a story like the above will bring lots of content to the conversation. It will demonstrate you are confident and a good story teller and have interesting stories to tell. All attractive qualities.

After you change topics, it’s time to start building attraction. 2S965D3J7CJV

Attraction is an emotional feeling and as David D would say – is not a choice. Its not a choice because no emotions are choices, they all come organically.

Many doubts that guys have about their ability are logical doubts. I’m too short, I’m bald, I’m fat, I’m not a millionaire… Whatever they may be, they are almost always logical because guys are logical creatures. Women are emotional creatures.

Thus to get the girl (or girls) of your dreams, you must disengage her logical mind and engage her physical. Because there is almost always a logical reason why you shouldnt hook up.

It’s too late, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, it’s too early, she can’t leave her friends, she might catch an STD or whatever else. If she thinks hard enoug, she can always find a reason. All those reasons apply to you not hooking up with her too, remember that.

So the point is you need to disengage her logical mind and engage her emotional.

There are a number of things you can do to do this and we will go through many of them here, playing games is a simple one.

Here are a few games you can try:

Thumb Wars

Ask a girl for her hand, like you are going to shake her hand or ask her something interesting about her hand then just start saying:

“1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war”

Then fight her.

This is a great way to get some physical contact and disengage her logical mind.

5 Questions Game

I think this one comes from Style from “The Game” but its a quick game that allows you to make a bet with someone and win 95% of the time.

It goes like this:

You: “have you ever played the question game?”

Her: “no”

You: OK, I’m going to ask you 5 questions, and in your responses, you HAVE to lie. OK?

Her: Umm OK.

You: OK, Questions 1: What colour is your hair?

Her: Brunette [She is actually blond]

You: OK Good, umm what colour are your eyes?

Her: Brown [actually blue]

You:  What city are we in?

Her: London [actually NY]

You: [say something distracting like: Whoa, look at that guy, hes got a weird tie] then follow up with. So what question are we up to again?

Her: Either 4 or some other number. [if she says 4, you win! because she has told the truth. If she says some other number, continue with the below]

You: Ohh wow, your good at this, you have so played this before havent you!

Her: OMG no I haven’t?!

You can use this to bet for drinks, sportsman’s bet [the winner gets to point and laugh] .

These are two great games to disengage her logical mind and get her in a fun emotional state.

Getting girls interested and building attraction is a very very big topic. I highly suggest reading Magic Bullets, listening to the Interview on Attraction from Love Systems and Reading Double your Dating by David DeAngelo to get a full grasp on the subject. It is seriously complex. But here are some of the basics. I may touch on these in more detail in the future, but the content in the above products is has been built over many years by many experts in the dating field and I doubt I will be able to match the quality of their content.

Getting a girl interested in you is probably the hardest part for most people. Walking up and talking to  girls is all well and good, but having her actually interested enough to give you her phone number, agree to a date or maybe even go home with you that night is the big challenge.

The other difficulty of this topic is that girls are interested in guys for many different reasons, and different girls are interested for different reasons.

Here are a number of traits that girls find attractive. Different girls will place more or less weight on the different categories.

Health:

This is your physical health and grooming. Almost all girls will be less attracted to you if your breath smells, you have dirty, cracked finger nails. Your skin is peeling. Your teeth are black. So if you have these issues, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror and get them sorter. There really isn’t any way around it if getting the girls of your dreams is your goal.

To a lesser extent, weight, muscles and stamina come into play. But these are MUCH less important than the above. There are plenty of overweight, skinny and unfit dope smoking guys who get laid like rockstars. As long as you are confident with this side of your image, you will be fine.

Understanding social norms

Understanding and adhering to social norms is an attractive quality. Wearing suitable clothes for the event. Knowing what to do if a fight breaks out between two friends of the girl you are chatting to. Knowing what to do if a friend of the girl you are chatting to suddenly vomits. Not getting to drunk. Not being awkward to new people you are interested in.

Confidence

This is like one of the 3 main points that always comes up if you ask a girl what makes a man attractive. David DeAngelo describes confidence as the act of doing courage. Or doing something you are fearful of. It is displayed through controlling speech and body language and not being affected by others. Being solid with your own identity.

Humour

Humour is another one that comes up lots when you ask a girl. Humour laughter releases endorphins and makes people good so it’s no wonder it makes you more attractive to girls. Be humorous by telling funny stories, jokes and quotes. Pointing out funny things. Teasing and creating tension. Laughter is also a sign of breaking tension so endorphins can be released that way.

Money

You probably knew this one was coming. It’s unfortunate but it’s a fact of life. Some girls find money attractive. Some say it comes from the primal instinct that they are looking for a man who can protect their offspring. But this is only one piece of the puzzle. And not the most important for most girls. Also, interestingly enough, if you can present yourself as a confident man who would be a good lover but not a good provider – lots of the time you can keep things casual until she finds someone with more money. That is if that’s what she is looking for and if you’re cool with it.

Having other girls in your life

This one is obvious to some, but not to others. Ever noticed, that when you had a girlfriend, you were hit on more? Girls are attracted to guys who other girls are attracted to. Why do you think rock stars get so many girls? Because all the girls think that all the other girls want them. If you can mention in a story you had a hot girlfriend (subtly of course) or even better, you can get some girls to hang out with you in a bar – you’re more likely to get other girls interested in you.

Leader among Men

This one should be pretty obvious. Leading is an attractive trait. It resembles influence, power, status. This doesn’t mean you need to go into politics, start a peace rally or become a manager. Just controlling a conversation is displaying you are a leader. Selecting what bar to go to or restaurant to eat at. Just telling the girl “come with me” instead of “where do you want to go?” is leading. This is attractive.

Displaying other people know and like you

This is called social proof in some circles. People do what other people do. Ever noticed a bunch of people looking at the sky when you’re walking down the street. What did you do? If other people know you and seem to like you, that is an attractive quality to a girl. If you have a nice group of friends who you are chatting to, if you know the bar tenders, bouncers, cafe staff and a girl sees it, she will become more attracted to you.

There are hundreds of different ways to display these qualities. And doing it in the short amount of time you get with a girl on a first meet (5-30 minutes) to make her attracted is an art. That’s why I highly recommend reading Magic Bullets, listening to the Interview on Attraction from Love Systems and Reading Double your Dating by David DeAngelo to get a full grasp on the subject.

At some point, if you are not taking the direct opener approach and you are using a situational, opinion, functional or semi-direct opener you will need to tell a girl you like her before you can take things to the next level.

Telling a hot girl you like her because she is hot is usually not a good idea. She gets this all day every day. So what you should do is tell her you like her for some other reason, not because she is hot. But you should only do this after she is interested in you.

Sometimes, you won’t know much about her so this can be difficult so you may need to find out a bit more. You can also search really deep or stay kind of shallow depending on what the girl is like. This process is called Qualification by Love Systems and is covered in detail in Magic Bullets.

Here are some things you can say – no matter what you know about her:

- You’re a really cool girl, I like your energy

- You’re a really cool girl, I like your vibe

- You’re a really cool girl, I like your style

- You’re a really cool girl, I like your attitude

- You’re a great conversationalist

Here are some common things you can pick up quickly in a conversation:

- Your cool, your Swedish (Californian, English etc…). Swedish girls are cool because of xyz.

- Your funny, I like that

- You’re really sweet, I can tell you’re a good friend

Sometimes you will need to be more specific and relevant to the girl for this to work. So you will actually need to find out more about her before you can qualify her. You can do this by asking questions:

Easy questions:

- Are you adventurous?

- Do you like to read?

- Do you like to travel?

Medium questions:

- What are you ambitions?

- What are you hobbies?

- What makes you special?

Hard Questions

- Tell me 3 interesting things about you

- What do you have going on for yourself besides your looks?

Remember only ask these questions after she is interested in you. Qualification is a very delicate topic, that’s why I would recommend reading Magic Bullets.

A very good outcome from an interaction with a hot girl is getting the girls phone number. This is generally a pretty safe outcome and from here we would be looking to get her out on a date.

There a number of ways to get a girls number. This usually happens after she is interested in you and after you have shown you’re interested in her. Plus you have built some rapport together. But remember all rules can be broken.

Here are a few ways to ask for the number:

• Hey it’s been fun talking to you but I’ve gotta get back to my friends, give me your number and we can finish this later.
• I don’t have time to competently flirt with you at the moment, but give me your number and I’ll give you a call.
• It was nice meeting you. Give me your number and ill give you a call sometime.
• You know that place I was talking about? Yeh xyz. You should come sometime. Give me your number and I’ll take you.

Few things to point out. Notice how every statement says “give me”. This is not an aggressive give me, more like an assumptive. Don’t demand the number, but assume she is perfectly OK with giving it to you. Just like if you were talking with a colleague about a work issue, and you needed to call someone to fix it. “Give me his number and ill call him”

There are some great phone number closes in Magic Bullets and detailed instructions on what to do once you have the number.